shary: 02/04/25 - 22:37:44 During my childhood I was badly abused and as I grew older, I became the accused.
The beating I took came straight from dad, who used every obstacle to beat me so bad.
That tears that Ive shed were because of fear, that kick that I took it deafened my ear.
Doing hard labor at the age of nine keeping the torment in back of my mind.
Eventually I became this child of steel hard as a rock, with no tender feel.
I became immune to the blows to my head as the tips of my welts that slightly bled.
The pain, it faded and my mind grew weak, but as my body grew stronger, I became this freak.
He said hell teach me from wrong to right, but my rage grew stronger, so I stood to his fight.
He kicked down my door, I stood to my feet he sensed the difference as our eyes finally meet.
I held no fear by the stare of my eyes
I was no longer afraid, but wanted him to die.
Speechless we stood as my fist starts to flinch while he drew closer, I never flinched.
His first blow landed forcefully on my eye
I shook it off and said, Its your turn to cry.
We fought like caged animals, He fell hard on the flI spat in his face and said, NO MORE.
After that night no two words were said, walking to the beach with conflicting thoughts in my head.
Like: What did I do?, but yet felt as ease
I was happy to see him begging me please.
Was it the right thing for me to attack?
For the beatings to stop so he wont hit me back?
It must be the way for him to leave me alone.
I saw the fear in his eyes that had once been my o
As I grew older it lingered in my mind the memories I harbored never stayed behind.
I figured, Ill be respected if I fight my way through because Ive powered over my dad and I can powe over you.
I never started trouble, but if it came my way
Id fight to destroy with nothing to say.
The littlest thing you do can get me mad who knows what will happen as you fade into dad.
My past still haunts me after all these years it brings me power and hides my fears.
When I get into rage I can no longer see, but I know youre my dad who stands in front of m
Ill give all Ive got till the damage is done once again my past has won.
Ive abused so many loved ones or not, but I never cared and I never stopped.
It took that one night when she yelled it at me,
The Devils in your eyes, Oh GOD please help me.
The fear that I saw it made my heart burn
I wanted to run, but no where to turn.
I looked deep in her eyes and I seen myself there she was badly bruised, just shaking with fear.
Now Im in prison and paying my dues for the damages Ive caused with scared black nd bl
The memories continue to haunt me today
I want it to stop, please ALLAH take it away.